Shortly after I wrote about being a post-election Queer Fire Priestess and the burst of energy around beginning to imagine and manifest Queer Spirit Rising, a Queer Spiritual gathering to take place at Braided Root Waters Healing Sanctuary in the future, I was called to go into a phase of deep letting go and decomposition.
That’s why I haven’t written since early November.
As soon as I surrendered to that call, my core wound of “lack of belonging” showed me that I’ve been running myself ragged trying to create “spaces of belonging” FOR MYSELF.
WHAT !!!
I thought I’d been offering gifts of service to others… but really I’d been trying to fill the gaping hole of my lack of belonging that yawns as wide as the patriarchy is long- that is ancestral and flows through lifetimes… and exists very specifically in this lifetime…
I believe we all carry this wound to some degree in this world where we belong to very little that is meaningful anymore… do you feel this wound in your current life?
(photo caption: For some far northern peoples, the Sun disappears entirely from the sky around Winter Solstice. Thus, in some northern Eurasian folklores Reindeer returns the Sun by carrying it back to us in her antlers. Rattle painting by Betti)
Part of my healing of this core wound is working with these two mantras:
I heal into belonging
I feel into belonging
I know my belonging
I honor the Ancestors
and
I belong to the Earth
I belong to the Ancestors
I belong to Myself
I belong to the All
Please make them yours if they resonate.
And consider decomposing, just for a day or two, or a week or two as we head out of the Holy Day season and into the New Year.
I’m still decomposing, right now. And I will be until January 16…
What is True and meaningful for me, and how I will allocate my Thyme* and energy in 2025 will emerge from the rich compost of this letting go, of this decomposing, of honoring the inward movement that we are meant to make during this cycle in the winter season…
Blessings and Courage,
Betti
*I’ve been working with the Thyme plant to help shift my relationship away from the tyranny of patriarchal, linear time, and part of that is using the spelling of the plant’s name, Thyme, when referring to clock time.